Let's Talk About Sex Girls 4

Cameron and Russell talk to the girls about sex from a boys perspective.


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Let's Talk About Sex Girls 3

Cassie and Gina discuss purity and the sex topic girls don't talk about. Week three of our four week series Let's Talk About Sex.

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Let's Talk About Sex Boys 3

Taught by Brad Crockett:

Pornography has changed quite drastically from the time when I was growing up. What used to be found in magazines inside truck stops or ordered through the mail arriving at your house in a plain brown wrapper or what was playing in a XXX movie house like the old Stage 212 is now a thing of the past. Whereas at one time people snuck into places to see it, or at least tried to hide it from their neighbors and families - now is available to anyone inside their own homes to view whenver it is that they would like to see it, and sadly there is not much shame in it either. In today's world you can see that Satan has taken control of the media that is available to people and pornography has become mainstream and is now pushed on younger and younger people. Advertisers use it now to grab our attention and try to sell us something, and on TV shows they use it to get higher ratings of viewers on their shows. Sadly, what used to be shocking has now become the everyday, usual, with people not even giving it a second thought. Let me give you an example of just how much things have changed in my lifetime. If you guys would say some of the names of those who are sex symbols on TV and in movies today that you consider to be "hot" they would be much different from what I looked at when I was younger. (I'm 41 now) Then, I considered Wonder Woman and Maryanne from Gilligans Island, Marsha Brady and even Betty Rubble from the Flintstones hot. Things have definitely changed! Pornography is now on the TV, the internet, in lyrics of songs, in video games, TV commercials, music videos, magazine ads, and it's in our everyday language that we speak. It is all around us. The worst thing is - is that we are told that it's all okay. Everyone else is seeing it - and we are told that if it feels good then it must be okay. If you are not looking at it or downloading porn; then you are not cool. That's a line of crap, that is the world's view and definitley not God's. People today think that they can go online at their homes and view porn and no one will ever know about it, or find out. Truth is though, that every web page that you go on is stored as information by your web provider like AOL, ATT, etc. All of what you've viewed is accessible by the government by getting a web warrant if they decided they ever needed to. In one case that I was aware of, they pulled up information that went back over 3 years. Then, there is also spyware on your computers that takes the information of "where" you've been and sells it to their advertisers. Pictures that you've brought up on your computer are burned on your hard drive and they pretty much stay there forever. People think that their privacy is protected by having passwords, but every computer that is sold in the United States comes with an access code built in it so that federal authorities can access the information that they might need during an investigation. People feel as if no one is seeing them but in truth MORE people are seeing them now then they even did in the old days when they were sneaking and hiding from their neighbors and friends. As far as chat rooms and myspace and facebook; people think that they can put something on there - like their words or pictures and they think that they are somehow "not seen" by others. Like the internet is some magic curtain that you can hide behind and hold you accountable for. WRONG! If you've typed it or posted it - it is out there forever. Even after you delete it or close out your account it never truly goes away. You can find websites online that existed over 15 years ago if you look hard enough. Also, most of these people don't think about the long term aspects of posting these things. Companies now are doing internet background searches along with police records before they ever hire people; so what you post today to be funny or amusing could affect your long term future plans. Back to pornography; when you begin to expose yourselves to it - it begins to distort the way that you think about women. You start to think about them as something that is there for your sexual pleasure, as objects instead of real people who are God's children, whether they know it or not. Guys falsely begin to believe that woman don't care if you treat them in a demeaning manner; that it doesn't matter if you throw them aside once you are done with them. It begins to be more about the game of trying to see how many girls you can be with or which girl you can get to do something for you and then tell your friends all about it. Some guys will say anything to get something from a girl; telling them that they love them when of course they don't mean it. Telling a girl that you love her is a very serious thing and it's not something to be spoken of lightly, guys. Let me state that the ONLY woman I have said that to is my wife. When you tell a girl that you love her; you are not telling her, "hey I like you and for right now, this is great and I want to be with you for awhile." what you are saying to her and what she is hearing is "I want to spent the rest of my life with you." Love is not just being with someone that you think is pretty and that you want to be with until things go sour; it is instead a life long committment. Before you ever tell a girl that you love them ask yourself this question, "if this person were to be in an accident or become ill and be in bed for the rest of their lives would you stay there to feed, bathe and take care of them?" That is what LOVE IS. Let me tell you guys, woman are one of the greatest gifts that God ever gave man. They are one of the most beautiful treasures on this earth and when you realize that and begin to see how valuable they really are and begin to treat them that way; God will bless you with a spouse that will be with you forever. God's view is that all believers must be morally and sexually pure. Pure means to be free from all taint which is lewd. It suggests refraining from all acts and thoughts that would cause you to stray from your virginity or one's marriage vows. Sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage and is approved of and blessed by God in that state alone. Sexual immorality and impurity include not only forbidden consummated acts or intercourse but also any act of sexual gratification with another person other than one's own marriage partner. Contemporary or world thinking says that sexual intimacy among "committed" unmarried youth and adults is acceptable as long as it stops short of full sexual union. God though, explicity prohibits having sexual relations with anyone other than a lawful husband or wife. What happens in youth ministrys around the world and in CYM is that for some - they attend to meet up with someone that they begin to like. Sadly, it becomes more about that relationship than it does about getting closer to God. This affects not only those who are not taking God seriously but also those that are. Listen, the only reason that you should ever even consider dating someone or go steady is IF you are at the point in your life where you are seriously looking for a spouse. If you are under the age of 18; then that isn't you. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex; you can learn a lot from each other during this time; but you shouldn't be in a serious relationship unless you are looking to get married. In the long run if you follow God's word and live your life accordingly, you will be so much better off. I firmly believe that in life about 20% of the problems that we face are unavoidable - the other 80% people cause by their own actions. God is there to help us with both, AND if we would follow God's Word most of the 80% would be avoidable. His Word says that we need to separate ourselves from the world, leave what is the world's in the world and not drag it into the church and then take what is the church's , which is God's word and take it out into the world. We need to remain pure and holy in God's eyes and do what is expected by Him and not what is expected by the world.

1 Corinthians 6:13 the body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord for the body.

1 Corinthians 6:18 flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside of his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

Let's Talk About Sex Boys 2

Taught by Cameron Graper:

Masturbation. This a predominate sexual sin that men face, and it's one that no one ever wants to talk about. People are uncomfortable with this word, especially in the church - but it deserves to be spoken about there. What has happened instead is that this word has become quite common in the world of jokes and raunchy entertainment but it isn't spoken about where it needs to be spoken at. It may not be labeled under the word masturbation however, instead other words have been given to this act that I'm sure you've heard many times before.

Well, what does the bible have to say about masturbation? Nothing, really. There really are no specific verses in the bible that speak directly about it. Nothing specific anywhere that says that masturbation is a sin. There are other things like this in the bible too. God's word says that with our knowledge and the Holy Spirit we can determine what it right. So, is it bad? Well, who of you has felt the shame that comes after masturbation? Who has worried about -if your mom or dad might walk in on you while you are masturbating?

I am confident in saying that 99% of masturbatin is a sin. In Matthew 5:28 Jesus spoke of the old law that said a man is sinful if he commits adultery. (cheating on his wife) but then He goes on to say that if a man looks at a woman lustfully then he has committed adultery and has sinned. So, when you do masturbate; what usually comes with it? It's a sexual thought. But what if a person could masturbate without thinking adulterous thoughts? Can a person get sexually aroused without something sexual going on in their minds? Possibly, but doubtful - even if it starts out by being something that just happens; more than likely there will have to be some sort of fantasy to prolong it and end it. I know there are probably some of you out there thinking "this is bull!" "If God didn't want me to masturbate, then He wouldn't have put things within easy reach of my hands!" But - God's word says that you are supposed to be a man that has control of his body. Although the male body may desire a sexual release every 72 hours, some less, some more. God has actually designed something that happens with that in mind. (Nocturnal emission or a wet dream) This is a god given relief that will take place before any possible physical problems would or ever could occur.

There are reasons to fight the temptation of masturbation.

It is a sin and like all sin it seperates us from God. As Christians we are supposed to rid our lives of things that make us impure.

Masturbation can also become a habit; some get addicted to it. Masturbation releases hormones that make us feel good, and we can become hooked on those hormones. There was this speaker that had a man ask him - "how many times a day do you think masturbation is excessive?" He answered; If you can't go a month then you are dealing with weakness; a week you may be addicted to it and if you can't go a day then you may have a life controlling problem.

Another reason to fight the temptation is that it can skew our perception of sex. It can become very selfish, being all about your release. Sex with your wife someday will not be like it is now when you masturbate. Some men think that "this is something that I just do now until I get married, once I have a woman I won't do this anymore." But by then it may be much more of a habit then you ever thought it could possibly be.

Then there can be shame. Take action, hate your impurity, stop telling yourself that this is a normal thing to do. Begin to realize that this affects your life. Hate it enough to stop doing it. Verbalize that you don't want it to be part of your life anymore. Begin to take control of your thoughts, the wide variety of images and thoughts that you've used in the past to masturbate to. Purify your mind of these things. Stop allowing new images and thoughts to come in too. Refuse to look at pornography. Don't stare at a girl's breasts or butts. Refuse to watch things that will cause you to have lingering thoughts, even if they seem harmless to others around you. Don't think upon things that you already have in your heads. You are still going to see things that turn you on, but keep your mind from playing it over and over and over again. For this circumstance and others I want to bring you the idea of some power verses to remind yourself that the action or thought is not for you and to combat what the enemy is throwing at you. For the situation of visual and mind purity look to 2 Corinthian 10:5 with these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ. I take captive every thought. Also, begin to identify your weaknesses, when are you most tempted to masturbate and think about what caused you to want to do this? Once you have identified these things begin to guard yourself from letting yourself see images that will cause you to dwell on them, be careful what you see online, in games and in movies. Another verse, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 run away from sexual sin, no other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Or don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God: You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. I have no right to do this because I belong to God. Ask God for help if and when you need it. God cares about your purity. He wants you to live a life filled with joy and greatness. If you struggle with your thought life and you struggle with masturbation - try to get control - Think about becoming accountable to another man if this is something that you have let rule your life in the past.

Even when you begin to deal with this problem, understand that you will still have failure. It isn't easy to change things overnight. We are in a constant fight until the day that we die with our own sin nature. Romans 7:18-25

Don't let shame over this ever get you down. It can be conquered and dealt with.

God created us, he understands our hormones that we fight with, he understands our struggles. God's blood covers all of our sins and He gives us the strength to fight all of our battles, yes, even this one.

Let's Talk About Sex Girls 2

Deb speaks about her history and how sex is more than just a physical act. Week two of our four week series Let's Talk About Sex.

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